Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Self Weaning- Growing up- Breastfeeding Older Babas

My little man is 28 months old. He is very attached to us, which is what we aimed for. We have tried to practice all the aspects of attachment parenting. Unfortunately due to his ever growing weight and my pregnancy we have stopped using the sling. It is still there for Dada to use, but he was never as much of an addict as me (see Baby Wearing post)! He still breastfeeds. But I am a bit sad that it may be coming to an end.

When we started crèche at 10 months, the minute he saw me come in at home time, you could see he wanted milk straight away, he’d try to get in at them, and I’d usually bring bread to give him to keep him going until at least the car. I’d hope to get home before feeding as the weather got colder but sometimes he just wanted it straight away, which is fair enough. It is a great way to reconnect and unwind after a potentially stressful/ upsetting day without each other (on both our parts).

Then as he got older, it was usually ok until we got home, but he often asked for them in crèche. We have a code name for them, so saves any unwanted comments/questions. Not that I’m embarrassed, I love feeding him, but I have my self conscious days in this not so breastfeeding friendly culture of ours.

And now he never (oh never say never!!) asks for them in crèche, rarely asks in car (and if he does it is to ask can he have them at home on bean bag), then when we get home he rarely asks for them, as we get swept up with play, chat and dinner preparation. So it is usually before his bed that I offer them to him, on the bean bag in family room, so his Dada can take him to bed. But recently his interest has waned. He is usually busy playing, and can’t be distracted, often says will have “other side” in the morning.
Even when I am putting him to bed, we read stories in the rocking chair, with him on my lap and then he has a feed, but he often wants to pop off so I can re-read the story and he can look at pictures. It used to be that breastfeeding trumped everything, but now play, stories, food, bed sometimes trumps breastfeeding.

Then he usually feeds during the night sometimes a lot (he did go a while STTN, but was then sick, so reverted to waking a bit, but last 3 nights he has slept a lot better and just had a good feed in the morning).

So what has changed?? Has he just started to grow out of it? Is the taste changing with pregnancy (I don’t think so, as he would tell me)? Is it a phase, will he come back with gusto next week?

I’m not really sure how I feel about this. I don’t think I want this part of our relationship to be over ( I already really miss the closeness and reconnection we had with the sling). It has been such a comfort to him. Especially recently when sick and teething. It provides him with protection to his still developing immune system. It provides him some nutrition, although he definitely eats enough now. I had hoped it would discourage sibling rivalry and allow him to get to know his little brother or sister while showing them how to feed.

But on the other hand, it may make it easier to feed one and not two, although I would need to have clever tricks to keep LM distracted and happily occupied while I feed a newborn. Oh who knows, and most likely it will not be something I need to think about and if it is then I really should just let him led- that is what we try to do in most other aspects of his life. Accept that maybe he is ready to move on.

My Little Man is growing up…. another example, yesterday he buttoned up his own pyjama top, 4 buttons, you should have seen his little fingers at work. And he was so chuffed. He announced “I don’t need mama or dada anymore”. I know it was just for that particular task (as hubby pointed out, must have read my thoughts) but still.

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